My friend, Nancy, is an amazing person and an amazing mom of two spectacular daughters. They are both kind, smart, beautiful, and accomplished. I, myself, came out the other end of parenting two boys with a head full of gray hair, deep wrinkles, and a twitch in one eye. Nancy has come through parenting her girls (now young women) with deep friendships, mutual respect, and real joy. I am in awe.
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| Carly, Nancy, and Ashley |
This spring, Nancy's younger daughter, Ashley, graduated from Vanderbilt with a double major in political science and neuroscience. She swung through Chapel Hill for a night or two before continuing on to her first post-graduation job in Charleston. Nancy quickly put together a family celebration and her dear hub, Dave, suggested a cake. In a flash of inspiration, Nancy ran by HT, picked up a prepped sheet cake and asked to have #ADULTING written on it in icing.
When the cake was ready, the bakery attendant tenatively placed it in front of Nancy seeking her approval. "Does it look okay?"
Nancy peered at the cake, smiled, and met the attendant's eye. She graciously replied "It looks PERFECT!"
And it WAS perfect!
There, written in frosting, was a timely and wise life lesson for a newly minted college grad.
We are surrounded by perfection. Movies, TV, and magazines show us men and women tanned, slim, and coifed to perfection. Facebook and Insta boast breathtaking homes, high achieving families, exotic vacations. Its easy to think that if our lives aren't equally perfect, we've somehow failed. We look at our own lives with disappointment and regret.
I see you using photo filters to soften wrinkles and smooth wayward hair.
I see you posing at an angle to minimize your body and suck in your tummy while someone says "cheese."
I see you stressing out over dirty dishes and sagging couches and overstuffed closets.
I see you despairing over junker cars and older mobile phones and sneakers from Walmart.
I see you fretting when your kids don't make the team, or the A honor roll.
I see you stepping on the scale a 2nd or 3rd time to make sure it's accurate.
I see you wrestling with anxiety that sits daily on your chest like an unwelcome elephant.
I see you squinting at your pay stub and feeling the weight of your credit card debt.
I see you living with your parents post-graduation because you can't find a job in some kind of unplanned gap year.
I see you huffing and puffing on a walk while a sleek runner passes you with the grace of a gazelle.
I see you looking in the mirror and thinking you're not enough.
But there's a secret to being a happy, well-adjusted adult.
It's knowing that
You
Are
Enough.
And that your messy, chaotic life is PERFECTLY imperfect.
Because the things that really matter, a kind heart, grace, humor, joy, compassion and love can't be seen, or measured, or photographed, or posted. Those beautiful etherial things are woven into who we are by a loving God who never asks for perfection.
The paths that unfold before us sometimes lead us far away from the future we had mapped out. Yet the real secret to ADULTING is to roll with our imperfections, to appreciate where we are, even when we step off the path we imagined for ourselves. Adulting is to see our lives from the 30,000 foot view and to look for the good in our situation whatever and whereever that might be.
Because you know what?
Your life, even with its misteps and mishaps, is like the cake with the misspelled hashtag. It is beautifully sweet and absolutely perfect. And when you slow down, and take the time to savor each bite, it gets even better.
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| Congratulations, Ashley! |
